Living far from loved ones makes it more challenging to stay connected. But that doesn’t mean families have to give up on staying connected to those who are physically distant. Today’s technology tools make it easier. The families below also know that it’s more about what you do with that virtual time—the sincere connections you make regularly—that makes the real difference.
Going the Distance to Stay Close to Family
Elena of Buenos Aires, Argentina, has had a lot of experience staying connected to loved ones from a distance. Twenty years ago, she married Sam and moved to the United States to live near his family. Despite the distance, she stayed close to her mother, siblings, and many other relatives in Argentina. Last year, Elena and Sam moved with their children back to Argentina. Now it’s Sam’s turn to learn from Elena’s example how to stay close.
“Elena was able to transition her relationships from in-person to telephone,” Sam recalls. “Having the same chats she would in person—but long-distance. Talking about minor, daily happenings was probably the best way for her to stay connected. Many times, the topic was quite insignificant, like what laundry soap brand someone prefers. But that’s how she stayed part of their lives.”
“Something else I have noticed my wife does well is try to watch current events where loved ones live,” Sam reflects. “It helps her stay relevant. She checks in on them when storms hit and the power is out. She comments about local elections, or notices when a major construction project is happening in their town.” Elena also remembers everyone on their birthdays and reaches out with well-wishes and gifts.
Now Sam is the one living far from loved ones. “Being the distant relative is hard,” he admits. “Everyone is busy. You find you are not in that person’s inner circle of daily problems and solutions anymore. Conversations get summarized down to ‘I’m okay, you’re okay.’ It is easy to lose patience when you can’t connect after a few tries. It is important to be forgiving and wait your turn.”
Sam has learned strategies that help. He tags loved ones on social media posts to share a laugh or a common interest. He started a group chat using the WhatsApp app, which has become his family’s primary means of group communication. And he tries to reach out in thoughtful ways. “Be willing to use the mode of communication they are comfortable with, not just your favorite,” he advises. “Keep yourself accessible. Call the older folks. Text the younger. Let them know you think of them between conversations.”
Loved Ones Gather on Zoom
“Since the beginning of this pandemic, my family has been keeping in touch with weekly Sunday night meetings on Zoom,” says Hatsuho Cook of Ohio, United States. “We didn’t expect this to last more than a few weeks, but here we are nearly 2 years later, still communicating on Zoom.”
Hatsuho has Japanese roots, and her relatives live in many places. Keeping in touch with them has always been important. It has been especially poignant as families have continued to grow and change during the pandemic.
“In the past 2 years, my sister welcomed a baby,” she says. “We have loved watching him grow from tiny newborn to toddlerhood. New pets have joined the family. My parents have had new health issues. We have dealt with death. Others have begun new jobs and degrees. She describes family time with cousins playing games and performing music, dances, and magic shows.
One new tradition is particularly dear to Hatsuho’s heart. “My son uses Zoom to play shogi (Japanese chess) with my father. It was my father’s lifelong dream to play shogi with his posterity. I’m not sure this dream could have been realized so soon without the help of this pandemic and technology.”
Having these online conversations has been a mixed blessing, but a blessing nonetheless. “My family has probably had more quality conversation these past 2 years than the previous 10 years combined, despite being separated by long distances,” she reflects. “While I don’t wish to be relying on online communications forever, I am grateful for the new experiences it has given us to grow closer together as a family.”
Build Family Connections Despite the Distance at RootsTech
Learn more inspiring strategies for deepening family connections at RootsTech. This virtual family history conference is free for everyone all over the world. Explore how you can choose connection by visiting RootsTech.org.
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